*i heart faces challenge* Dramatic Black and White

So...For the past couple of weeks I have been following a blog/forum called I heart faces.(As if I needed one more forum/blog to follow!!) It is a great place for tutorials/resources etc for photographers and every week they offer a different photo challenge. Great way to learn and also a great way to showcase just a teeny bit of my work on the blog!
This weeks challenge is 'Dramatic Black and White.' It only took me like 3 hours to pick one for this challenge!!!! I have so many black and white conversions that I love but ultimately I chose this one.

SHe just screams drama doesn't she???
For more awesome dramatic black and white pics and tons of other fun photgraphy stuff...head on over to http://Iheartfaces.blogspot.com :)

Yes..It IS about time!

Procrastinator, slacker, dilly-dallyer, dawdler, idler,(is that a word?)loafer.....Not words I would normally use to describe myself but in relation to this blog...Yes, all of the above. I suck. BUT, I will get better. I think..maybe.. So my excuse is that life right now is insanely busy. As always. There is not one single day in my calendar for the month of March that does not have something scheduled. CRAZY, I know! But GOOD crazy! For starters, the weather is warming up here in Southeast Indiana!! Yippee! This means, sports for the kids, days at the park, playdates, picnics, Spring cleaning, oh... and most importantly photo shoots!!!! So not officially in business YET..but since the weather has started to get warm...I have had quite a few people call me or email me for pics already!:) So excited about this! I even was asked to do a wedding in November!!! I still don't have everything squared away yet with pricing, packages, portfolio building, website etc....but soon enough. Takes money to make money unfortunately and it is going to be a slow process. Somewhat frustrating but at the same time...I don't want to rush it. I want to take my time with all of this and educate myself and do this right the first time around. I want it to be something I'm proud of. I heard a great quote today and it stuck with me...."The only way to do great work is to love what you do." Whoa. No wonder I suck as a nurse!! Ha! Who knew? Okay...short post...But I have mommy duties to tend too! No rest for the weary...

Another day, another blog entry....

So another day....another long, feeling sorry for myself day. I was really excited about this blog when I first started it....Is it bad that now it almost feels like an obligation? To whom, I'm not sure. Myself? Probably. I hate not following through on a commitment. Even if it is just one that I've made to myself..When I first started this blog last month, I wrestled with whether or not I would even tell anyone about it. I was perfectly content with just typing out my feelings and breathing a huge sigh of relief when it was all out of me......In black and white. I could literally take a huge breath after writing and feel.....Cleansed? Relieved? Un-burdened? Self-indulgent? Whatever. I felt. And thats all the mattered. And then it took a few weeks of me typing these huge posts and then deleting them..to realize that was SUCH a time waster. Why not put it all out there? Why not say, "Hey, heres what the heck I am dealing with and going through...HELP! or feel sorry for me, or hurt with me, or laugh with me, or encourage me or tell me to shut the heck up, I dont care!" Just listen. So that I dont feel like I am standing in the middle of the room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even notices. Self indulgent? Yep. My blog? Yep. So, therefore entitled to self indulgence.
So I know I bragged about the new camera last week and I WILL post pics soon!!!!! For some reason the past week has been unbelievably busy and although I have had time to take tons of pics(thanks to the yummy Springtime weather), I have yet to find time to edit any of them. That is definitely on my to-do list for the week. We moved the computer up to the bedroom this weekend so that I would be able to edit more at night once the kiddos are in bed. Hopefully I will get more done this way:) I am beyond excited with the new camera and I am learning soooooooo much every day. Who knew that a simple hobby could make one feel so unbelievably hopeful and alive. Seriously. I know that sounds so cliche and cheesy. But WOW....not sure what state of mind I would be in without my photgraphy. It really does give me hope for the future. I know, Iknow, I should just be thankful to have a job..blah blah blah. And for the most part, I am. But it's no secret that I don't want to be a nurse. Not even a little bit. Wish I could say that I love what I do...Love making a difference...saving lives...etc.etc. Can't say that. Maybe that makes me a bad person? Maybe that just makes me honest. I DO care about the children that I take care of. I DO hurt for them and also for their parents. I truly do...but if you want honesty, I could walk away tomorrow and be okay with it. Horrible, I know. I think I've become somewhat numb in the past few years. Numb to the tragedy, disease, sadness that I see in the hospital. If I allowed myself to hurt for every single family, every single patient, I'm not sure I could get out of bed every morning. I don't think I could function if I dwelled on the situations that I see at work. I do believe that God has a plan for me. I DO hope its not nursing..... I do think that maybe this is just a stop on the journey for me.....EVERY single time I work...I see families dealing with horribly, unfair situations. Maybe thats God's way of saying...'Ya know what, You don't have it so bad.' I saw a family a few weeks ago that I instantly fell in love with. Without giving out too many details of their situation...They moved to Cincy recently to be closer to CCHMC so that they could get more consistent care for their THREE children...All diagnosed with a chronic, genetic disease. All terminal. All under the age of 12. All will die from their disease. Unfathomable. But yet....This family showed unbelievable grace and tremendous faith. Again...Not there yet. Can't wait for the day when I can actually say....I am okay with this. Okay with my life, content with where God has placed me at the moment, unwavering in my faith, strong in the knowledge that all things work together for those that love God. One day. Not there yet...... But one day.

Bloggity blog blah.....

Blah. So either I'm a really boring person with a really boring life...or I have writers block. Most likey, both. Either way I figured I was due for another entry so I'm sitting down to just wing it and recap the week. Blah.
Have to start by saying....I cannot freakin wait for winter to be over...I have dealt with enough snot, poop and puke this winter to last a lifetime. This past week was no exception. You know you are a mom when you would rather catch your child's throw-up in your hand than have to clean it up off the floor or the bed AGAIN for the 900th time. We have resorted to putting trashcans in the beds with the kids because we have changed the sheets and comforters at least 5 times this week. Ummm...Springtime? Where are you? Please come soon before I have a nervous breakdown. Thanks.
On top of the stomach flu this week we also had Joshua's cardiology follow up visit. To be honest...I kind of put the whole VSD thing out of mind for the past few months since he hasn't had any symptoms so this appointment really snuck up on me. Thankfully all is well(for the most part) and he'll continue to be seen by caridiolgy until he is a toddler.
Ahhhhh...But the bright spot of my week???? It came!!!! It FINALLY came!!!!!!!!!!! My amazing, fantastic, wonderful, perfect,dream camera came!! I am in love. I think Chris may be jealous. He says I spend more time with it than I do with him:) I knew it was supposed to be delivered yesterday and I was terrified that I would still be at Joshua's MD appt when they came and unable to sign for it..So I left a note for the UPS man on the door...BEGGING and PLEADING with him to leave it. (Which he did..He is now my new BFF.) You can't even BEGIN to imagine my excitement when I saw the box(or Jacksons disappointment when he realized that it wasn't for him!HHHHAAAAA!) I can't wait for the weather to get warm so I can really start playing with it.(That's what she said.) It is alot of camera but I am having a blast with it. Makes me feel all fancy. You think I inundated you with pictures before...Just you wait.
So thats the week in a nutshell...Vomit, Poo, Snot, MD appts and MY NEW CAMERA. It's all good.